Living like an addict.

If you ask me, whether do I still think of him. My answer is Yes, in fact every night I am thinking about him, facing the urge to message him, ask him how can he did this to me. Its normal, its natural, because we are human beings, we have emotions, but what's the point?

We cannot give ourselves excuses anymore, its time to wake up. Time is running out, we should put our concentration on something more valuable. Messaging him, understanding the reasons,  have no values at all, in fact it will drag me down. Therefore what I did is, whenever I felt like messaging him, I will think of my future. Stop living in your past, but concentrate on your future.  Let go your ex, for you next. :)

Of course, letting go, is not a one day process, it takes time, just like how an addict get rid of the addiction. We need to have patience, determination, willpower, and of course God's strength. 

To be frank, I never felt this way before, its hurt. Every time I think of him, or the memories, its like a knife stabbing my heart, reminding me he left me. Sometimes I even think of silly ways to grab his attention, like "accident", "commit suicide" and so on. ( I know it happens to you too.) So its normal, but the thing is, when we fell down, that's only 2 ways for us, its either you remain the same position and cry or you wipe your tears and walk again. We cannot let our bad experience destroy us. You have to be strong, continue walking only you will meet your perfect match right?

So don't give up, let go your past. Smile and walk again, stop think about how to revenge, or how to get him back, but think something more useful. Think how to be a better person, set goals, and fulfill it. Every relationship there's lost and gain, focus on the gains and let go the lost. Trust in the Lord, that He is preparing a better one for you. Remember, he left you, doesn't mean you are unworthy, but you deserve someone better, someone who will appreciate you and felt the same way as you do. 

So peeps, lets think of a better future today. Stop staying in the shadow and search for your rainbow. 

Love,
Elaine